New Poem

Advice

the young man stood reproving me:
you see this is the age of the asshole
you have to be an asshole to get ahead
everyone is an asshole
I had to learn how to be an asshole
then I had to learn how to be a bigger asshole
I have a master’s degree in asshole
the only thing you can trust
is that everyone is an asshole
you didn’t teach me to be an asshole
your friends aren’t assholes
those old beat soldiers saw the asshole as an old comrade
the academic old men gloried in the products of the asshole
reams of old man shit fill the libraries
Dr. Williams would say today that
there are a lot of assholes out there
the wrinkled hole, the nether eye, the backdoor, the crab like joker,
no talent texting driver
parking space grubber
the one your lover always leaves you for
bully neighbor
if you are not an asshole – you are an asshole
it takes one to know one
I am learning to be a real hole in the ass
your ears are little hairy holes like your asshole
every word I say is going into your asshole
and every word you say from now on
is your asshole talking through you
that new: job, book contract, lover
awaits you
you lucky assholes



Bob Rosenthal
December 26, 2011